


My R

by JayT23



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Can be read as platonic or potentially leading up to romance, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayT23/pseuds/JayT23
Summary: Felix just wants to jump.Unfortunately there is always someone faster than him.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 17





	My R

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and welcome to the first fic I ever uploaded!  
> Quick warning, though, as suicide, depression and self harm will be referenced, so if any of that makes you uncomfortable, please avoid reading this fic.  
> It's also a songfic about what I thought about while listening the Song 'My R'.  
> I really hope this is worth your read and you're not left disappointed afterwards.

Felix made his way up to the rooftop. It was late and the clubs would soon meet up, so he didn’t exactly expect someone to be on there.  
He arrived and began to untie his shoes, when he saw another student with bright orange hair standing at the other side of the railing, his shoes just a few feet away from Felix.  
“Hey, don’t do it, please!”  
Whoa wait a minute, what did he just say?! He couldn’t care less either way!  
To be honest he was somewhat pissed.  
Another opportunity missed!  
The boy turned around and his dark orange eyes met Felix’s red ones.  
“I really thought that he might be the one”, he said and his grip tightened around the railing. “Then he told me, he was done.”  
Felix’s own hands tightened into fists.  
“For god’s sake, please! Are you serious?!”, Felix’s voice dripped with anger and disbelief.  
The other boy’s gaze turned to the school grounds beneath him in order to avoid Felix’s crushing one.  
Felix came closer to him.  
“I can’t believe that you think you should be here before me for such an unimportant reason! Are you upset because you can’t have what you wanted?! You’re lucky that you’ve never gotten robbed of anything!”  
He heard the other’s shaky exhale and a “I’m feeling better now.”, before seeing his orange eyes once again.  
“Thank you for listening.”. The other smiled, got over to Felix’s side of the railing and, after picking up his shoes, left the rooftop.  
Felix stared at the railing.  
Even though, he could have seized the moment and jump, it felt wrong to do it right after stopping someone else.  
It’s like it wasn’t supposed to happen.  
Felix left the rooftop and through the stairwell, on that day at least.

* * *

“Alright, today’s the day.”, or so Felix thought, as he took both of his shoes off.  
But, yet again, his place was already taken by a short girl with messy purple hair.  
“Hey, don’t do it, please!”.  
The petite girl flinched and turned around, her purple eyes meeting Felix’s red ones.  
Her teary gaze turned to the floor of the roof.  
“Everyone ignores me and everyone steals. There’s no place for me in this world.”  
Felix’s hands tightened into fists.  
“For god’s sake, please! Are you serious?!”, the girl’s eyes widened as she stared at him in shock.  
“I can’t believe that you think you should be here before me for such an unimportant reason! Can’t you see, that you have a family at home! There’s always dinner waiting at the table, you know?!”, this time it was Felix who exhaled deeply.  
“I’m hungry.”, said the girl as tears began to run down her cheeks.  
She got over the railing, picked up her shoes and left the rooftop.  
Felix’s longing gaze turned to the railing, but again, he left the rooftop through the stairwell.

* * *

  
Felix sat on the railing and gazed upon the city.  
His time was not now, not before most students left school and Felix knew it.  
He reflected on the past few weeks, where he couldn’t do it despite trying.  
Where his place was taken by someone without a reason.  
No one of them jumped, but sadly, neither did Felix.  
He knew, once he got the opportunity, he would jump, once his place was no longer taken.  
He also knew that, unlike his placeholders, there was no one who would listen to him, who would make him turn away from the railing, no one he could let out all his pain to.  
Felix left the rooftop, knowing he would come back later.

For the very first time there he saw, someone with the same pains as him.  
On the other side of the railing stood a boy with dark orange hair.  
He wore a yellow cardigan, one with sleeves that constantly made their way up his arms, despite his obvious efforts to keep them down.  
Felix could see old wounds, once he looked closely, wounds that were made by the boy himself.  
The boy turned around and his hazel eyes met Felix’s red ones.  
He briefly looked Felix up and down before a small smile appeared on his face.  
Was that pity Felix saw in his eyes?  
“I just wanna stop the scars that grow every time that I go home. That’s why I came up here instead.”, that’s what the boy in the cardigan said.  
“Don’t do it, please.”  
Agh- what to do? He couldn’t stop this boy!  
He had no right to do that!  
Felix turned his head, he couldn’t bear to look at him anymore.  
But he felt the pitiful gaze upon him and it was too much for him!  
Felix wanted to cry.  
It was as if he was on the verge of dying and not the other boy, as if the other boy hadn’t lived through the same as him.  
“I guess today is just not my day.”, the boy climbed over the railing and took his shoes from the ground.  
He did it so unbearably slow, so mechanical, as if he did this every day.  
Felix’s gaze followed the boy and, though he could hardly see, he felt the lifeless expression of the other.  
He saw the other boy leaving, yet his gaze lay on the stairwell for what felt like an eternity, before he left as well.

* * *

  
At last, nobody to get in his way.  
He was alone with no one left.  
There’s no one who could interfere, no one to talk to.  
Felix took off his shoes, undid his bun.  
He watched his dark blue hair flow with the wind.  
It would only be until the count of three, that he would jump down and be free.  
When the third number was practically screamed in his head, he jumped.  
At least until he got stopped from falling not a single second later.  
“Don’t do it, please.”  
Felix turned around and his red eyes met hazel ones.

**Author's Note:**

> I was a little scared of uploading this and hope it's not visible that english is not my native tounge.  
> Please tell me any errors, so I can correct them and get better at the language.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
